Sunday, April 02, 2006

Nairobi...the city of safari-peddlers and meat.

We are ready to head out of Nairobi in about an hour, so I thought I'd post some of my musings and observations. My impression of the city waxed and waned between dissappointed and exhilirated often during our short stay here. The first hotel we stayed in (The Embassy) was pretty much the type of seedy roach motel you'd see in a movie about seedy roach motels. But for $10 per person, we were willing to give it a shot, even though I could hear our hearts collectively sink as Big T pulled up to it. Since it was dark by the time we got into town, we decided to stay in and check out the "Bar and Restaurant" in the hotel. Aside from the Tusker beer I drank in rapid succession in hopes of improving my horrified disposition (I'm reminded of a funny t-shirt I once saw that read: Beer! Making Ugly People Beautiful for over 100 Years!), this place made me feel like jumping out of the window overlooking the run-down "City Market" across the street. When our order finally arrived about an hour (and three beers) later, it was about 10% accurate, with the kitchen staff apparently deciding that our choices were either not appropriate, or simly did not exist in reality (re: Googly Burgers...despite explicit advertising to the contrary, they do NOT exist...trust me). Things did not improve as Geoff and I ventured to our crack den and found that we would be sharing our room with an army of baby roaches living in our bathroom. To top it all off, the walls were so thin and beds so rickety, that when the couple next door showed up around 4am we felt as if we had inherited two roommates on their honeymoon. I slept for a grand total of an hour and twenty minutes.

The next day Geoff and I proposed to the group that we switch hotels. After a search in our travel guides, we settled on the Kenya Comfort Hotel just around the corner. It was just about the same price, but man was it absolutely WONDERFUL! It had been recently renovated and it's kept up perfectly. Our moods instantly improved. We went about wandering the city, getting targeted and harassed by every safari salesman in Nairobi. It was at this point I realized the beacon I must be in this art of the world. Meredith has taken to calling me "Sore Thumb" because of how I stick out. We researched safaris and had lunch at the Thorn Tree Cafe in The Stanley Hotel, where Ernest Hemingway often ate and wrote. It was a wonderful meal, though to be honest it kind of felt like we were hiding with the imperialist. A subtle reminder were the guards out front that checked every car that entered the hotel roundabout with mirrors in order to make sure none had a bomb strapped to them. Sadly, the American Embassy bombing came to mind often during my stay here....in some ways, the underlying tensions are still palpable, despite the overwhelming amount of smiles and friendly demeanors we've encountered so far.

We then ventured to the National Museum north of the city, only to find that it was closed for renovation. From there, we went to a suburb call the Westlands, which basically spells out the split personality of Kenya I've talked about since arriving. First, we spent a few hours wandering a fully Westernized mall, complete with a food court, ATMs, clean bathrooms, and all kinds of clothing and department stores. Apparently, this is where you'll also find all of the white folks, Indians, and other non-Africans hanging out. Step outside the guarded parking lot, and directly across the street you'll find a shanty-town of shops and lean-to's full of poor shopowners literally begging for you to buy something. We caused a mini-riot by crossing the street...five well-off Americans surrounded by dozens of men and women pulling them into stores and offering "half-price" for "hand made" jewelry, masks, prints, pots, and hundreds of other useless treasures. The bargaining is intense, and they use every kind of pressure tactic known to man. You can usually get them down to 80-90% of their opening price, but it takes a lot of work and a little bit of cold-heartedness considering the circumstances. It was an eye-opening experience, and one that I'm not sure I want to do again any time soon.

Continuing with the imperialist view of Nairobi, we dined at a restaurant called Carnivore in the southwest region of Nairobi. I cannot even begin to explain the meat we had. I think Meredith has a good breakdown on her blog, so I'll just throw in some broad descriptions. The meal is basically described as a war between you and the kitchen. The weapon is food. The kitchen is literally trying to kill you with food. So they give you a little flag on your table and when you've had enough, you are supposed to tip your flag as a sign of surrender. Until they see that flag fall, the Meat Servers (or as I like to call them, the foot soldiers in the Kitchen's Army) will continuously bring huge skewers filled with every type of meat known to man and drop it on your plate, regardless of your condition or amount of food still on your plate. Then, when the flag finally falls, and you think that you've cheated death by stopping the meat parade, they come at you with deserts ranging from ice cream to cheescake to warm pineapple pie. It was only by the grace of God that we did not break the axle of the cab we all squeezed into afterwards. All of this, with wine, dawa, and bottled water, for about $50 per person. In Manhattan, that meal and experience is EASILY $80-$100 per person....and there is no way you would have gotten ostrich, camel, and crocodile!

Alright, Big T will be here any minute and I want to get one more Tusker before heading back to our dry quarters...check out my Snapfish photo album in the mean time:

http://www.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=39913895/a=6248780/t_=6248780

Here's Nancy's too:

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?mode=fromshare&Uc=64i7mowj.5giw7lfn&Uy=-kvbc5b&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0&UV=598054253426_548132831107

Miss you and Love you all...

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