To my daughter, on your First Birthday...

Dear Violet,

As you sleep upstairs nestled with mom in our bed (we're still working on that whole "sleep training" thing), and the final minutes of your first birthday tick away, I just wanted to jot down a few notes to you.  Nothing monumental, nothing too mushy.  Just a few reflections on the past year I've been thinking about today.  Perhaps someday I'll put them into proper prose, but for now, bullet points will have to do.  And mind you, these are in no particular order.

• I love you in a way I didn't know was possible 365 days ago.  This may seem overly simplistic, but you have to understand: Before you came along, it was just me and your mom for nearly a decade and a half.  In those 15 years, we lived together, then apart, in different countries and on different coasts, then finally we settled somewhere long enough to have you.  My love for your mother evolved and grew and always kept me safe, even in the roughest of times.  It became my shelter.  And to make room for someone in that shelter was a scary proposition.   And suddenly, there you were.  And rather than feeling like you were there to share my shelter, I felt the need to be yours.  When I wrapped my arms around you, much like your mother did to me countless times, I realized it was the beginning of a love that will evolve and grow and keep you safe in even the roughest of times.  
• Sadly, you shared your first birthday with heartbreaking news.  Forty-nine innocent souls lost their lives because of hate, bigotry and a deadly mixture of violent ideologies.  On the night I get to marvel at your first year of health and happiness,  my mind keeps returning to how I can keep you safe in a world increasingly focused on differences and division.  While I want you to be strong, independent, dedicated and bold, I hope this comes with equal parts compassion, empathy and understanding.  I will do my best to lead by example.  Luckily, I have your mother providing an example for us both.  
• This morning, you plopped yourself on our scale in the bathroom while we were getting ready.  You weighed 18.7 pounds!  For the first few months of your life, you had me and mom weighing you on a weekly basis because we were worried about your growth.  You lost so much weight in the first 3 days of life because of jaundice, you looked puny.  Now, you've got rolls and are taller than most babies your age!