Monday, October 25, 2010

Grand Rounds - Lessons Learned

When first presented with the topic for these Grand Rounds, I immediately thought that it was too broad a topic to do any justice to. Having been through four years of medical school, four years of an OB/Gyn residency, and the first three months of my three year Maternal-Fetal Medicine fellowship, I wouldn’t even know where to begin cataloging or recounting what I’ve learned.

Then it dawned on me.

The Karate Kid.

Anyone who knows me, or has been through any of the aforementioned steps along the way, has probably heard my Karate Kid philosophy to surviving medical training. For those of you who have not seen the movie (you should be ashamed of yourself, go rent it now), I’ll narrow it down to the build-up and pivotal scene that brings the philosophy together. For a good portion of the movie, we watch Daniel perform a myriad of menial, tedious and seemingly disjointed chores for Mr. Miyagi. He paints the entire fence surrounding Mr. Miyagi’s home, sands the floors on his hands and knees from morning ‘til night, and manages to methodically wax a bunch of old clunkers parked in the back yard to the point of making them look brand new. All the while, he begs to be taught the art of karate as he had been promised, only to be rebuffed with cryptic sayings and apparent ambivalence.

Mr. Miyagi simply seems thrilled to have himself a handy man, while Daniel frets that his entire future, more precisely his love life and personal safety, is becoming increasingly bleak and out of reach. He is proud, to a fault at times, and idealistic. He is sure of what he wants, even though he doesn’t seem to understand what that goal actually entails. And at his lowest point, feeling beaten down, exhausted, marginalized and far from any appreciable reward, he simply feels like quitting.

And it’s in that moment, he puts it all together. Literally:




While it may seem like a stretch, I would hazard a bet that this scene resonates with anyone braving the grueling, methodical and oftentimes thankless journey through medical education. Trudging to anatomy lab day in and day out, memorizing endless lists of bugs and drugs only to forget them shortly after the test, or percussing the borders of the heart knowing full well you’ve never seen a doctor perform such a banal task. You spend hours producing handouts that promptly get thrown out when finished, weeks developing presentations that are usually cut short or never see the light of day, and years taking impersonal, closed exams that supposedly measure your worth to faceless powers-that-be. Your pride is wounded on a regular basis and it seems like open season on idealism.

But what remains constant, and what Mr. Miyagi stresses throughout this scene is to concentrate. Keeping your eyes on the opponent at all times is akin to maintaining sight of your goal despite the minutia that is expected of you. In our profession, some of the most valuable skills acquired or lessons learned appear to be the most innocuous and repetative at first. When I was told to throw a minimum of fifty knots with each hand on a nightly basis as an intern, it seemed more an exercise in arts and crafts in the face of such overwhelmingly big subjects for serious surgeon to master. Then came my first encounter with the kind of intraoperative bleeding I had only read about to that point in my career. It was a situation where wasted motion, slow hands and, most importantly, faulty knots could easily lead you down a road you, your attending, and your patient never want to travel. I had come to a point where thought and action, and in my case reaction, had been brought closer in an almost subconscious way. On a larger scale, with every subsequent graduation and promotion, I can look back and see a similar synergy of tasks and exercises culminating into the skills and knowledge required to both advance my own career and teach what I’ve learned.

In a way, painting the fence, sanding the floor and waxing on and off has made me into the physician I am today and will continue to mold me into the physician I hope to be down the road.

Day 122

Last shot of the greatest city on Earth as we travel to JFK....

Day 121

Sunrise, day 2 of the retreat at the IBM Corporate resort in Palisades, NY...

Day 120

Unwinding after our first evening at the MFM Fellows Retreat....we're
actually playing Dr. Mercer and Dr. Platt.

Day 119

Photo taken by my niece, Metaxia, after picking her and Nikita up from
school and going on a Barnes & Noble's adventure!

Day 118

Trip down memory lane (aka Pond Hill Ave) in Warwick...

Day 117

Back at Stony Brook to visit for the day!

Day 116

St. Gerasimos church for my name day...

Monday, October 18, 2010

Day 115

Flatiron district...

Day 114

I got in so late, that this was technically shot after midnight on Day 114 when LanNa and I found somewhere to eat in Flushing.....

Day 113

Back to New York for vacation!





Day 112

Another sunrise from the call room at Mercy.....



Day 111

This is a photo from the past I decided to share now. My real 111th day involved washing dishes, sweeping the floor and scrubbing the toilet....not very photogenic.

THIS, HOWEVER......

















....IS PURE AWESOME.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Day 110

Thrilled to be doing laundry....

Day 109

Done with my presentation! Of course I managed to lock myself out of
my apartment and car...this is my med student's car....she became my
chauffeur for the day...

Day 108

Trying to catch a great sunset while driving....probably not the
smartest thing to try...

Day 107

It wouldn't be a day off if I weren't at the hospital...this time, at least, it was to make a little extra cash and to work on my talk...

Day 106

Working on my presentation for Fetal Diagnosis....

Day 105

Another sunrise over the bay (our apartment is on the lower left)...unfortunately, I'm seeing this as I'm actually COMING HOME from being called in as backup....awesome night, but not when you're scheduled for clinic all day...

Day 104

First time all week that we're getting a glimpse of sun....

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Day 103

I can't believe I found a puddle in San Diego.....

Day 102

I'm starting to make Tuesday my late nights at work....leaving Fetal Care and Genetics in La Jolla around 7pm or so...

Day 101

A gloomy, rainy and crisp morning walk to work....it's like I woke up in New York in October....

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Day 100

100 days.

Crazy, isn't it?

In some ways, it's flown by....in others, it hasn't. The first 50 days were full of firsts - meeting new people and getting settled in to a new environment, walking on eggshells as not to put anyone off and walking around like a tourist and figuring out where I could become a regular. Most days were fueled by the type of adrenalin one feels on the first day at a new school, where you try to counter the fear of the unknown with blind enthusiasm and guarded optimism. In my case, though, I had Regina here for the first 42 of those days, so nothing could really go wrong.

The next 50 have proven to be a little more challenging. Much like that new school year analogy, expectations and routines begin to set in. Especially for the first year fellow, the majority of my time is accounted for and set in stone, with minor variations week to week. Meeting people and learning their quirks now becomes a matter of navigating personalities and fitting in without compromising too much of who you are. And, most importantly for me, trying to practice the type of medicine and operate the way I see fit without pissing too many people off is a particular mine field I try to improve on daily. Apparently I wear my emotions on my face. Go figure.

As for the "routine" part of life, don't get me wrong....this is, by far, the least accounted-for I've been in a long time considering I'm home by 6pm most nights and I've done more voluntary, paid calls than required ones....but that's where the tougher part starts for me. For those of you who have known me for any portion of my 32 years on this planet, silence isn't my strong suit. Once you get to know me, I don't shut up....or sit still.......or refuse to let a weekend go by without some sort of plan that revolves around a) food b) drink c) music or d) all of the above. I think it's the Greek in me...or the fact that I'm an ESFP according to the Myers-Briggs personality test. Who knows....

The bottom line is that after 100 days, I think I'm just a bit homesick....but not your typical I-wanna-go-home-and-wait-for-the-blizzards-to-come type of homesick. I miss the people. I'd say I'm peoplesick, but that just sounds weird and implies I'm making bombs in a mountainside log cabin. I wish I could share all the amazing things I have discovered so far with everyone I know from back East because I know they would love it. That's what this blog, in a small part, has helped me do. (Hell, I'll even thank Facebook, as much as that may get me disowned by my hipster friends). Luckily, I have met a bunch of amazing people out here, and hopefully they'll come to find me tolerable as time goes on. I'll take tolerable. At least you can share meals and drinks with tolerable. I know in the end I will be fine, but for now I have only the first 100 days here to compare to the prior 11,690 days on the other coast.

Which brings me to Girlfriend. (For those of you not in the know, that's Regina. I know it drives some people nuts, but I really can't bring myself to repeatedly refer to her by her given name. It's almost too "clinical". I can't in real life, so why fight it online?) The biggest irreparable void has been having her so far away while trying to enjoy a new city. Sure, we're nearing the second year of her being in Grenada ("second year"....it seems even crazier when I put it in writing), but in the past I've been in a familiar setting surrounded by people and places we both knew and loved, allowing me to sense her presence at any given time. Out here, I'm like Columbus without a compass. The oceans on the wrong side of me. I'm confused when the sun comes up over mountains. Everyone has tattoos. People eat acai bowls.

It's times like these that I realize how she is both my gravity and my slingshot...ever-propelling me forward while keeping me within arms reach of myself. If I could somehow mimic even a fraction of her ability to be simultaneously steady and adventurous, I probably wouldn't have even missed a beat coming out here. So far, I think I've done an okay job....but in 73 days when she lands about 10:55pm, I have a feeling things will go from okay to spectacular.

So if you've made it to this point without browsing to another site or vomiting uncontrollably from my unabashed sappiness, here's one last chance to do so.......

The Long Way Home. When I think about it, that pretty much sums up our lives to this point.

On to the next 50 days, and beyond.

Regards,

Me.



Saturday, October 02, 2010

Day 99

Trying to get some work done at Java Jones in Hillcrest....

Day 98

It's never a good sign when you're at work long enough to witness the on-call 2nd year brushing her teeth at around 2 in the morning......I should have been home about 8 hours beforehand...

Day 97

Rain!


















Rain!
















RAIN!




Day 96

The poor Padres...I think I may have brought a little "Met magic" with me to the West Coast...